capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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