Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize