I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
