the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
