do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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