how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My ass is underappreciated
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
