He had one of those small greek statue penises
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
