part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
