why didn't you poke me back
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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