So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
