the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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