after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
