He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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