Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You did what with his pubic hair?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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