You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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