I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
