Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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