Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
