How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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