Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
