I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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