I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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