Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
