I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
