Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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