i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
