She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize