broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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