I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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