Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
