he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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