after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
