And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
