umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
