tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
