I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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