We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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