are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
