Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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