forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think I sprained my soul last night
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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