a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
