Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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