halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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