hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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