think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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