YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize