Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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