what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
