Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
zippers are such a cool invention
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize