I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
