remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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