you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
