I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
