I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
