This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Randomize
