Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
