Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
