On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
