I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
