You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
