I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
