id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
